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There's No Need To Shout!
One of the many saving graces of a Labrador is that they’re generally a fairly silent bunch. No need for ten words where one will do, and if they can get away with no words at all then so much the better.
I can’t be doing with back-chat and barking, so this tendency of Hector’s towards brevity goes down very well here at the House of Mutt where, I’m thankful to say, the vast majority of our visitors are similarly short of opinions. Terriers (yes you, Hubble..) can have things to say and the occasional Toy breed packs a verbal punch above its weight but by and large they are a pretty laconic bunch – and I’ve always been happy with that.
But within this almost-perfect silence, we do have the odd flashpoint which, up until now, I’ve tolerated. Unexpected visitors yodelling a shrill ‘hellooooo’ or the occasional eediot who marches their dog into the house unannounced have both, generally, elicited a gruff welcome, if only for a moment. (I may have mentioned this before, but I like new dogs to be introduced to the pack outside and under controlled circumstances. Dogs have formalities to get through on introduction –sniffing and the like - and for those they need space, freedom and a sense of occasion. Ritual Requires Respect – RRRight)
Anyway, I digress. Back to barking...
I’ve always put our dogs’ relative silence down to the fact that they’re relaxed in each other’s company, feel neither threatened nor the need to protect, they’re well exercised so acceptance is more convenient than ‘on guard’, and finally it’s so very quiet round here that there’s not much to bark at. For all these reasons it’s followed, in my misguided mind, that rural home boarding is really the only way to ensure your dog doesn’t return home with a ‘habit’. How could kennels or city creches, where dogs are confined and don’t necessarily know one another, avoid the phenomenon of Barking.
That I was wrong in that assumption was proved when I visited the beautifully purple headquarters of London’s Pets in the City last week, and met their ten or so totally silent day boarders. Unconcerned about door bells, visitors, postmen, traffic noise, new arrivals or early departers, these waggy, confident dogs were, well, quiet.
Pets in the City owner Sarah Marris’ view was ‘they’ve all just been on an hour and a half’s walk along the river and they’re happy. Why should they bark?!’
Why indeed. I’ve now revised my earlier opinion about the acceptability of even the tiniest ‘woof’. There’s no need for any dog, anywhere to shout. If Sarah’s disparate pack can keep their mouths shut in the middle of noisy Notting Hill, then my chillouts can do the same in their home-from-home leafy splendour. I’m off now to invite friends to a yodelling contest at The Old Rectory. They will be asked to bash on windows, leap from behind doors and give it their best with Top C.
Zero yapping tolerance has arrived at the House of Mutt.
Hubble, beware!
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